Birth Story.... Part 1

This could get long so bear with me. But it's also something I never want to forget.

We were scheduled to be induced on Wednesday November 9 due to the fact that my doctor was leaving to go out of town as of 3 pm on Thursday for a hunting trip. And wasn't going to be home until the 18th. And we did not want to wait that long for Kamryn to make her appearance.

So I went into the hospital at 7am to get prepped while Ryan brought the boys to school and daycare and then met me there. We got situated in our room and waited for the magic to happen. I was given a dose of Cytotek to help gets things started and was then hooked up to a machine for 4 hours to be monitored. Not much happened so I was given another dose 4 hours after that. Still not much progression. If you ask Ryan all he says that happened on Wednesday is that he was able to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in front of me while watching tv. How nice of him since I was unable to eat a thing.

Finally that night our doctor came in to check things out. I was dialated to a 2 but still wasn't progressing very quickly. He was kind enough to allow me to eat something before the next dose which was great! Cause anyone who knows me knows that when I am hungry...... well i'm just not real pleasant to be around. :) So a quick dinner was INHALED and another dose given.

That caused quite a few contractions in the middle of the night for about 3 hours straight and then things settled down. I was so disappointed. I figured I would be holding out new addition by then. But she has proven that she likes things done in her own time. :)

We woke up thursday to the doctor coming to check me out. I was then around a 3-4 when he checked me but felt that something was in the way and was aprehensive about breaking my water. He thought maybe it was the other placenta or that baby girl maybe had her hand in the way but wasn't sure. Since he didnt want to end up in a c-section he decided to hold off for a bit, give another dose of cytotek, and then have his partner come in around 11 to break my water.

So at 11ish his partner came in to check me and I was only to a 4. At that point we didn't think Kamryn was ever going to come. She also felt something in the way but was able to push it aside and felt comfortable at that point to break my water.

Introducing.....

Kamryn Jean Petroelje

5lbs 5oz and 18 inches long

Born 11-10-11 at 3:52 pm

While we are rejoicing over Kamryn we are also mourning the loss of her brother.

Jackson Del was born first and we celebrate knowing he is with his Heavenly Father.

Today is.....

Inducement Day!!!

I am at the hospital hooked up to machines already. We are hoping and praying that all goes well and cannot believe that hopefully by the end of the day she will be here safe and sound.

I will update as soon as I can. :)

And the date.....

of our inducement is on the calendar! WOW!!!!

I cannot believe we are in the home stretch.

We cannot wait to meet this precious girl.

And yet the day will be filled with every possible emotion.

The boys are counting down the days and we are so excited!!!

Aching....

I find myself aching a lot these days. My heart longs for something I know will not happen. And it hurts. And I don't know how to grieve about it appropriately while again.... trying to maintain that healthy balance of grief and gratefulness.

Then on my way to work today I happen to see that someone has laid a bunch of baby pumpkins on the gravestones by Blake and James. There wasn't enough for everyone but what a sweet gesture. I also know that there is an older gentleman who goes out and waters the flowers every day. I ran into him once and expressed my thanks to him and he told me how sad he was when our headstone arrived. We were the first ones in this specific "babyland". A complete stranger watching over our boy resting place. Gratefulness......

Hearing about a few different couples who just welcomed healthy twins to their families. One of the couples actually having the first baby at home while trying to get ahold of family. And everyone being ok. Gratefulness......

The other couple being induced at 39 weeks and ending up with an emergency c-section but again thankfully with the result of mom and babies all doing well. A long awaited addition to this incredible family. Gratefulness......

Then going into work today and hearing from someone whose niece just gave birth to twins two weeks ago. Holding the baby girl this weekend to have her die in her mothers arm with no known reason. Grief......

Knowing that possibly anytime between now and a few short weeks we will finally get to meet our precious girl who continues to fight and beat the odds. Gratefulness......

But knowing that instead of bringing home 2 babies we will once again be burying one. Extreme Grief.....

Listening to my two rambunctious boys going crazy in their room while I write this even though they are supposed to be on time out? Gratefulness....

Is my heart jealous? Absolutely. Will I ever understand the Why??? No. Do I still find comfort through it all? I'm trying to. Does that sometimes entail tears of happiness and sadness? On a daily basis.

For those of you who have been so gracious and helpful.... there are no words to express my gratitude.

Not Forgotten

Last night Ryan was looking through our blog and reminded me that while what is going on is super important and obviously thought consuming..... we do have 2 other kids that have been keeping up laughing and enjoying life. So I thought I better do a post about them and what they have been up to. :)

Hunting season has begun and Ryan was able to take a 6 point on opening weekend. The boys love to pretend they are hunting at the house and practice with Ryan as much as they can. So when he called us and said he shot one they were so excited. We all got dressed so we could go and track it. So we met him out by his parents property and off we went. We got to his stand and he told the boys which direction he "thought" it went and off they went. We could see it laying from where we were standing but it was fun watching them run off and look all over. And then scream "there it is". I thought they would be grossed out or scared but they loved every minute. Even watching Ryan gut it. Congrats Babe!

Caden and William continue to be so great with everything going on. They are the best of friends and worst of enemies. And yet they take such great care of each other. Caden even wakes up in the morning and makes breakfast for Will when i'm not feeling well. They are just incredible and I couldn't feel more blessed by them.

In preparation for the baby we put the boys in the same room in bunkbeds. They love it!!! And have done great from day one. I was worried since Caden is like his dad and falls asleep immediately and wakes up early and William likes to talk and stay up late like his mom and then sleep in as much as possible. But they have been pretty good about not bugging each other.

While I have had to take it incredibly easy this means that Ryan has become way busier. But he is doing great with it all! Caden is playing soccer right now which means practice 2 nights a week and games on Saturday's. While Caden really didn't seem too interested last year he has seemed to grasp what it is all about now. In fact he has been the leading scorer for the team and goes out with a vengance. And through it all his brother is his biggest fan. This picture is after Caden scored 3 goals and was taken out to sit a quarter.

I am so blessed to have these 3 incredible guys in my life. They are what keeps me going.

I Love You All!!!

all smiles today

I went to our appointment today expecting the worst. In fact I had my dad come with me thinking it would be go time. That way Ryan would be able to get some work done this morning before we were sent off. But instead I was pleasantly surprised.

We found that our fluid levels had gone up and that baby girl had indead put on some more weight. WHAT A SHOCK!!! I could not believe it. And so therefore it was a fun day. Especially watching my dad in the ultrasound room. Watching her moving all over and him not having a clue as to what we were looking at. So he asked a lot of questions which made it even more fun and made it last much longer. Plus our tech had an intern with her and they asked if I minded if she took a look also. I would never pass up the chance to see her for longer.

So now we continue on and keep getting monitored. I go in again on Saturday for another NST and then on Tuesday we meet with the specialist to see what he is thinking. He had said that he wasn't going to let us go past 37 weeks. That means I could possibly be holding my baby girl in 3 and 1/2 weeks. I can't wait!