It has been 10 years since we were shocked at the birth and death of our firstborn sons. Blake Hunter and James Bridger were taken from us far too early from twin to twin transfusion syndrome.
I have learned a lot over the last 10 years as a mom. Coming upon the 10 year mark, i finally went through about 6 months of grief counseling. I have finally grasped that it wasn't my fault. That I could not have done anything to save them. That they were chosen by God above all else.
While I find comfort in these thoughts that doesn't always make the days easier. I still get depressed, angry, sad, confused, but more days happen where I am thankful for the experience. I'm blessed to be their mom. I'm blessed for the time we had together. I'm blessed that I felt their movements before their stillness.
But most of all I'm blessed by my Father above for letting me fall but being there to pick me back up for the last 10 years.