Well I finally did it. I had been putting it off as long as possible just because it would make things so final.... so over.... so unchangeable.
Today I went and signed the papers and made plans for Jackson's burial. We will be laying him to rest on Monday. When I say "we" I mean Ryan and the boys and I. When we gave birth to Blake and James we invited our entire families. And were surrounded with so much love it was overwhelming. But this time we are just going to have it be us. After talking with Ryan he said he didn't think he would be able to handle having a bigger service type burial again. And I know that for some family members it would be hard to be present to see that tiny little coffin put into the ground right next to our other kids.
It is hard to know how to feel today. Right before I went to the cemetary I brought Kamryn into the doctor for her weekly checkup. And she is looking great! She is up to 5lbs 12oz. Up 9oz from last week. That is awesome. And she is doing so well.
I leave from a Kamryn high to a Jackson low....
I can't imagine going from such a high as a great ped appt with your newborn to then going to make burial plans for her twin...Makes my heart hurt for you...
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for your family on Monday. Missing Jackson with you ((hugs))
I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeletePraying for YOU, Ryan and the boys. Such a difficult day to come but praying it provides some peace for you all. Feel what you feel. This is YOUR time to grieve and there is no right or wrong way to do that! MUCH love to you all.
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